The side to Gay Life we don't see: Aging

We never think about it. We go out most weekends; We glam up; We meet our mates; We score some hot young guy; We become the older stalwarts of the community by 25 & jaded by the process and after a couple of months/years out of it, we go back and do it all over again, all in the name of maintaining our view that we are young & continue to be attractive & did I mention young?
The NYTimes this week ran a fantastic article on the concept of growing old as an out gay man and the stigma & prejudice which is attached to this, with regards the provision of care. The article is very well put together, and does in many ways highlight a number of issues in our Society as a whole, the issue of care and whose role is care perceived to be for? It provides a very rude awakening for a culture of young gay men in this country and in most of the Western world where boundaries are broken down, almost on what seems like a daily basis these days. Thought provoking, but will it provide the incentive to do something about it.
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Aging and Gay, and Facing Prejudice in Twilight

Even now, at 81 and with her memory beginning to fade, Gloria Donadello recalls her painful brush with bigotry at an assisted-living center in Santa Fe, N.M. Sitting with those she considered friends, “people were laughing and making certain kinds of comments, and I told them, ‘Please don’t do that, because I’m gay.’”

The result of her outspokenness, Ms. Donadello said, was swift and merciless. “Everyone looked horrified,” she said. No longer included in conversation or welcome at meals, she plunged into depression. Medication did not help. With her emotional health deteriorating, Ms. Donadello moved into an adult community nearby that caters to gay men and lesbians.

“I felt like I was a pariah,” she said, settled in her new home. “For me, it was a choice between life and death.”

Elderly gay people like Ms. Donadello, living in nursing homes or assisted-living centers or receiving home care, increasingly report that they have been disrespected, shunned or mistreated in ways that range from hurtful to deadly, even leading some to commit suicide.

Some have seen their partners and friends insulted or isolated. Others live in fear of the day when they are dependent on strangers for the most personal care. That dread alone can be damaging, physically and emotionally, say geriatric doctors, psychiatrists and social workers.

The plight of the gay elderly has been taken up by a generation of gay men and lesbians, concerned about their own futures, who have begun a national drive to educate care providers about the social isolation, even outright discrimination, that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender clients face.

Source & contd: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/09/us/09aged.html?em&ex=1192161600&en=252f4521b8e5d635&ei=5087%0A